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Hey all! I have been kinda in a trance since my scope. I think I am getting better, actually, but I just feel kinda spaced out. I have been trying my best to stay active. I go for a walk nearly every day and have been attending a few social events. I just feel kinda disconnected from the “norms” in my life. I haven’t been painting. I haven’t really been working on my sites. I haven’t done much crochet. And I have been kinda reading, but not as much as I normally would.

Right now I am on vacation from work though! My gf and I are both on vacation together. We don’t really have the funds to travel, but we are going to do some stuff around town. Go check out places we normally don’t get to go to. Go visit the museum and art gallery. Maybe go visit a nature trail or two. And some other odds and ends. Last night we went to a local concert with some friends, but it kinda stunk,,, but it was good to see my friends!

I have actually been spending a lot of time playing Stardew Valley, and that is probably why it feels like life is a blur right now lol. My gf has been letting me play on her Steamdeck since the update isn’t on the Switch yet. I picked the farm where you get to start with two chickens :^) I messed up with not getting enough gold quality melons, so it looks like I won’t get a year 1 community center, but I wasn’t super aiming for it either. I haven’t played as much as some people have, ano I don’t really push to be super efficient or anything like that.

It is kinda fun to play video games actually! I don’t play video games as much as I used to anymore. It went from being something I did daily to something I do once a week or less. I think with some changes in my life I just found it hard to make time for games. And by that, I mean I make myself feel like I am “wasting time” when I could be focused on something more important. I tell others that it is important to make time for play and non productive time, but I struggle to show myself the same compassion.

I think letting myself have some gaming time is a good thing. I like Stardew because the day system makes some pretty clear cut times to take a break or end the game. I have been doing a good job with taking care of myself, but I haven’t been doing a good job with chores. I am going to let myself go easy on chores since I am on vacation, but starting next week I will probably bring some structure back in.

I think the biggest reason I feel spaced out is I have little energy for planning right now. I haven’t been following my usual systems, and I am starting to be able to tell. I usually take Monday of every week to plan and fill out my calendars, but I haven’t been doing that. With ADHD it is so easy to forget about your systems or just continually have executive dysfunction about doing them, but at the same time you are absolutely useless without them.

I did finally take the time to call and set up an appointment for therapy. It is an office right by my house, and they accept my insurance. Unfortunately the earliest they can see me is October, but I am on a cancellation list at least. They list ADHD in their specialities on their website, but I was too nervous to ask on the phone what services they offer for adult ADHD testing. Even if this office can’t help me with the ADHD stuff, I still think therapy would be an overall positive for me at this point. It just sucks I have to wait this long. I could have called around, but I have had multiple people recommend me to this office, including several people in my local LGBT community, so I think it will be worth the wait.

Going to wrap it up here! I am about to go have breakfast. I have been eating my breakfasts outside whenever I can and I try to bring a book with me to read afterwards. It is a really nice way to start the day. I wish I didn’t work such weird hours so I could start the day like this every day!